By Day: He’s a novelist and UT professor, and she’s an assistant attorney general.

How They Met
In the kitchen at a mutual friend’s house.

Oscar says: It was a birthday party, and the mariachis had already come and gone by the time I showed up. The first time I saw Becky, in the kitchen there, leaning against the refrigerator, I actually lost my breath. Not in some dramatic way, like I might faint (swooning, I think it’s called), but enough that I found it hard to say anything for a few minutes, and at the same time I couldn’t make myself leave the kitchen. I wanted to meet her, but I was afraid what I might say, so I just stood there until our mutual friend, the hostess, came around and introduced us. A little while later her husband also came up and introduced us. And then, toward the end of the night, because our mutual friend had been having a good time, she forgot and introduced us a second time. A few minutes later, her husband came around to introduce us again. Then it finally hit me that we weren’t meeting by accident.

Becky says: I didn’t know much about Oscar when we went out for the first time. We went to a Del Castillo show at the Paramount, and I remember people kept walking up to him, shaking his hand, even some guys in the band. I’d only learned at dinner that he had written some book. Later, I mentioned the date to my mother and after I told her his name, she said, “Yes, I know who he is!” I didn’t believe her at first, but it turned out that a couple of weeks earlier she had been at her doctor’s office and in the waiting room had picked up a Texas Monthly and read a profile on a writer named Oscar Casares. At the time, she had thought to herself, “Oh, how I wish mi’ja Becky would meet a boy like this.” A couple of years later, during the toast at our wedding reception, my father shared the story with everyone and then ended his speech by telling my mother, “See, your wish came true.”

Their Perfect Date
Oscar says: If we had to pick only one it would be going to a show at the Paramount, which is usually reason enough to call a sitter. And we’re reaching into the past only because we now have two kids, both under the age of five, and if there was such a thing as a perfect date, it would include staying out late and sleeping in without anyone waking us up at 6:45 because they want waffles and bananas.

Off the Clock
Oscar says: Places that don’t have chicken nuggets and playscapes, right? Here’s the short list: Alamo Drafthouse, Madam Mam’s, and Kerbey Lane.

Why It Works
Oscar says: We are alike in enough ways — cultural background, bilingual upbringing, shared views on things like education and raising kids — that make it possible for us to also be different. So while one of us is focused on the big picture, the other is focused on how to get us there. This means we have to trust each other to do the things each of us is good at. It also helps that we want to be together, which sounds simple enough, but if you really want something, and you’re lucky to find someone who wants the same thing, you both find ways to make it work.

Keeping Love Alive
Oscar says: Remember to make each other feel the way you did when you met, which is another way of saying, remember what first brought you together.